And i'm feeling a little peculiar...this whole 'not working' in the first year of your recovery thing- it's just about the only suggested action that i've had no problems with, that is until now. i am so over everything at this precise moment that i'm willing to give it all up for a shot at a 'lil' self worth, however superficial. Hell, i wanna buy things, get that familiar buzz from compulsive shopping, i want to come home with the unplanned and the very unimportant. I really needed a def leppard tee to wear on that eighties trivia night that's just so bound to happen, sometime really, really soon... fuckin A. Just do it. How many guitar pedals can one really have? the answer is arguably never enough. Even though I can't play the guitar for shit and my singing is best left for Ex's to be cuttingly honest about. Why didn't anyone tell me that i live in a rock n roll delusion?? And so tomorrow my resume will be sent off, and a desk jockey job, might just be around the corner for this little gunner. it's time to cut my hair like my dad's and it's time for me to stop looking at Karaoke as some kinda lesser form of my art. Such a wank.